If kids are playing football and it happens to roll to you, don’t use it as an opportunity to fire a bullet pass into their chest and show off.Even if they feign interest they’re just going to say “looks pretty good,” because we don’t want to hear your justification for picking a QB with the No. This happens all the time, and I promise they don’t care. EVER whip out your phone to show them your fantasy team.

If you happen to know a sportswriter, please never.

If you are throwing a football on the beach you are obliged to say “nice throw” at least three times regardless of whether the throw is good or not.

Whether you’re heading to the court for a game of pickup, tossing a football on the beach, or heading to the course for a round of golf with your friends, we’re here to help you ensure you don’t make an ass out of yourself and ruin everyone else’s fun. They’re the unspoken guidelines we have to follow in order to have a society run smoothly. That said, in our personal lives unwritten rules are critical. They’re often invented by the most boring, starchy people in existence that insist on “doing things the right way” and sucking all the fun out of sport. In the world of professional sports unwritten rules are horrible.

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